I know I have said multiple times over the past few weeks that I'm moving into a new chapter in life in Arizona. But I've realized that "a new chapter" doesn't really do justice to the past 24 years of my life in Illinois.
You know when you read a really fantastic book, and at the end you get an perfect blend of closure and the taste of wanting something more? That's how I feel about leaving Illinois. It's not just the end of a chapter, its the end of a fantasitc novel. [And yes, of course I am open to writing another book that is based in Illinois ;) ]
I got closure on so many things over the past few weeks. A previous relationship that ended in huge heartbreak, with the assumption that we would never find peace or forgiveness - we both apologized, forgave, and closed the wounds. A friendship that saw its fair share of differences - both agreeing to put the past in the past and move forward. A wonderful job that I hated saying goodbye to - but now know that the door is open to come back in the future.
And yet, I want more. I'm excited for the new opportunity to openly date someone and finally not hold that resentment from my past failed relationships. I'm thrilled to speak to an old friend again, and continue with a long-distance friendship (I predict lots of girls trip vacations to each others homes!). I'm happy to know that if I really want to come back, a job is waiting for me.
Illinois, you have been my rock. I've seen family members die and get buried here. I've seen new life take place here. I've seen weddings, baptisms, Christmases and Easters. I've had summers at Prestwick pool, winters on the sledding hill at the old Plattner house, and the fall season spent raking leaves in the front yard. I found my first love here, and lost him here. I've made beautiful friendships, and had to come to terms with friendships ending. I've enjoyed more yummy meals than I can count at Aurelios, Enricos, Francescas, Buenos Nachos, Rising Sun, and Nancy's....just to name a few! I've babysat so many great kids, just to see them all grow up and continued to be shocked at how big they get in just a few years. I graduated from junior high, high school and college here. I got my first adult job here. I've seen NBA championships, World Series wins, and Stanley Cup playoffs here! I've spent summers taking the train into the city for the Taste of Chicago and to lay on the beach - and reversely, I've seen Lake Michigan totally frozen over. I've had pets here - pets that really were man's bestest friend. And I've had to put them down here - ashes scattered in my backyard. I've taken family "vacations" here when we couldn't afford to go far away. I've made mistakes here, and learned from there here. I've cringed at the thought of what I did the night before here, and I've laughed uncontrollably while reminiscing here.
More than anything else, I've found who I am here. My life is lived day to day. Tomorrow is never a guarantee, and I make sure I remember that every day.
Illinois, you were a great book. And as I spend these next 10 days packing up boxes, saying goodbye to loved ones, finishing up my last day of school at LWE and say goodbye to wonderful students, I will be thinking of all you have given me.
Yes, I want more...and I know Arizona will provide that. Illinois, our story isn't done yet. Book II will come soon enough. But until then, Book I of Arizona will satisfy my need for more - friendships, love, memories, fun, career, laughter, tears, and food (not sports teams though. I will never abandon my Chicago teams. Ever).
Illinois, I promise to give you my all these next 10 days. All good, no bad. All smiles, no frowns. All positivity, no negativity. All acceptance, no regrets.
xoxo
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